Fri. Apr 12th, 2024

Howdy, I’m a Home Republican. As America hurtles towards a authorities shutdown, I and my fellow GOP colleagues want to say that, in our protection, we actually didn’t know “governing” could be considered one of our job necessities.

It appears like an un-fun exercise and, as we’ve made abundantly clear by way of myriad tweets and Fox Information appearances, we predict authorities is dangerous and we wish nothing do with it, apart from the elements the place we get to yell into TV cameras and share devastating Hunter Biden memes. These elements are nice!

On Thursday, we made it inconceivable for Home Speaker Kevin McCarthy – who we voted into energy but additionally hate and now wish to take away – to advance a army funding invoice that normally passes with bipartisan help. It’s the second time in a row we did that! Why? Primarily for the lulz, but additionally as a result of we form of need the federal government to shutdown so former President Donald Trump will like us and so we will look more durable after we’re yelling into the TV cameras.

Speaker of the Home Kevin McCarthy, R-Calif., walks from the chamber to his workplace simply after Home Republicans did not advance their very own protection invoice for second time in per week, on the Capitol in Washington, Thursday, Sept. 21, 2023.

We’re Republicans, in fact we wish to shut the federal government down

McCarthy responded to our unwillingness to behave like a sane governing physique and interact even remotely with the opposing celebration by saying: “This can be a complete new idea of people that simply wish to burn the entire place down.”

A brand new idea?!? Has he been asleep for the previous couple of years?

When will Congress care? Authorities shutdown talks return as US debt reaches $33 trillion.

We’re ALL about burning the entire place down. We’re fairly positive Reps. Marjorie Taylor Greene of Georgia and Andy Biggs of Arizona lately obtained matching “BURN THE WHOLE PLACE DOWN” tattoos on their necks.

Grasp on, we simply obtained a sick new Hunter Biden meme now we have to publish. It says, “Who’s your daddy? Oh, by no means thoughts, he’s out to lunch!” Basic. This is the reason the folks elected us.

Republicans cost towards a authorities shutdown with no clear calls for

Anyhoo, we was fairly pro-military and stuff – and we’ll nonetheless say we’re if there’s a TV digital camera round – however the fact is we aren’t doing jack on the army funding or another funding till the DEMONcrats agree to chop all of the spending we don’t like, defund the FBI and the DOJ, cease all Trump investigations and provides us every little thing we wish.

And what’s it we wish? Hah! Good strive. Answering that query sounds so much like governing, and we didn’t get into this enterprise to soiled our arms with that form of nonsense.

Democratic Majority Chief Sen. Chuck Schumer and Dem management at microphones to debate the bipartisan effort to keep away from a possible authorities shutdown.

McCarthy responded to our patriotic recalcitrance Thursday by sending us residence for the weekend slightly than preserving us round to do dumb issues like “work towards a possible settlement to forestall the U.S. authorities from shutting down,” “seek for compromise and put forth coverage proposals that may enhance the typical American’s life” or “act like adults and never a group of feral cats combating over an empty tuna can.”

Time is operating out – and a authorities shutdown appears inevitable

We have now till the top of subsequent week to faux we’re going to do one thing earlier than finally failing in probably the most clownish and embarrassing approach potential, and we really feel sure we’re as much as the duty.

Republican or Democrat? Florida and Michigan present voters which facet has a coronary heart.

Will a whole lot of 1000’s of federal employees be despatched residence with out paychecks? Certain! Did the final authorities shutdown in 2019 price the nation $3 billion in financial exercise? Heck yeah! May nationwide parks shut down and analysis on the Nationwide Institutes of Well being come to a halt? You betcha!

And will we care one iota about any of that? Nah. So long as Rep. Matt Gaetz of Florida can go on “Hannity” and flex his brow muscle groups whereas yelling one thing that doesn’t imply something, we’re proper the place we wish to be – in authorities, however not governing.

Benefit from the shutdown, suckers. We’ve obtained memes to publish.

USA TODAY Opinion columnist Rex Huppke.

Comply with USA TODAY columnist Rex Huppke on X, previously Twitter, @RexHuppke and Fb

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This text initially appeared on USA TODAY: Is a authorities shutdown possible? Home Republicans appear to need it

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